I am making changes to my environment, especially in my room. It happens that I put away so many things that if I want to have something, I have to purchase a new one and remember that I like it that way. This is new to me because all I know is my memory with people, collected things over the years and my experience. I suppose I can consider it my an expanded experiences or something.
I didn’t think I would throw away so many things; it’s dangerous since I like to hold onto things for memory and its usefulness. I am putting away old memory when I do that, since for me, I can remember some thoughts that I have when I have something. It is great and useful. But now I have to think of other things besides my past memory.
I occupied my time with better things, hopefully, and spending time on my lovely computers. I love it! I think it is a different memory from my old environment since I can’t actually touch and hold onto things I actually see or search on the computer unless I buy it.
I hate to forget something, which is one reason why I bought things. The things that I have are memorable to me and I like to understand how I can use it. It is troubling me when I like something, but could not find the use for it. I called it “waste” at times if it’s not attractive to me. That would make me sad and think a lot. So, sometimes I avoid thinking so much by buying something, but normally I try to think otherwise.
I am not happy thinking of bad people doing bad things to me when I couldn’t think what I could have done wrong. I reflect, and I hate bad people!!! They truly are bad and their environment and influence are bad. I don’t want anything to do with them. I hate seeing them or know of them. It makes me feel disgusted. I don’t see why someone, a bad person, would look for me and spent time with me when that person, Alfredo Aguirre (the one I saw in person), done bad things and have bad thoughts when I am away.
Likewise, it is just as bad if you do bad things and not know that they are bad. There is no such thing as accident. It happens. So be helpful and don’t tell me anything about yourself and let me see you, Caleb Nothnagle, because I found you to be disgusting and stupid.
I also don’t like John Nguyen. I think he’s stupid and dumb. And I don’t like anyone associating with that guy. It is disgusting to know I know someone like John Nguyen. He ruined me and my computers by making me have bad thoughts about myself when it’s not true. I really had fear of failing and not being able to do things right because I saw just enough errors on my computer and life to think I could fail at being perfect in life. A life that my husband think is not real.
I am not entire sure I know what is going on, even though I try to find true answers to my trouble. Sometimes, I think that I don’t really like people because they have flaws. I hate flaws and I correct myself to avoid and prevent having flaws. It is disturbing to me to think I could have flaws as I don’t think I have.
Also, I am a God.
Note: I could list the people I have encountered that I think are bad so that they can be destroyed and punished because I don’t think I did wrong but they continue to do bad things. Why can’t people know if something they do are bad? Is it their nature?